Oops...

I've just been speaking to my mum on the phone - part of our twice weekly ritual. I see a lot more of her since I moved north - indeed, we spent last Saturday together...

Several times during the day, she suggested I go and stay over for a night this week - and saying I'd have a think about it, I kept wondering what on earth was bringing all this on! She asked me again when I rang Tuesday - and I remained puzzled by it, and worried that she was becoming more dependent on me than I'd like...

Well, she's just had a good bitch about everybody. I hate when she does that, because it feels like she expects me to take her side and unfortunately, because I see how much depression obscures her view, I don't usually feel able to do that. She's not had a good week, not been sleeping, in lots of arthritic pain - and boy, does it show.

The penny finally dropped, mid call, as to the reason for this current downturn. Last Monday was the 4th anniversary of my dad's passing. Until now, I have to say I completely forgot...

Grief is such an individual experience. I've not forgotten my dad of course, and nor would I want to; but I guess where I've managed to put him away in a special compartment of the 'people I used to know' file of my mind, my mother has not. Funnily enough, I don't feel bad about this oversight - perhaps I should, but I expect my dad would understand.