Less consolation, more consolidation, please!

I've been rather depressed for the past week or so.

Now, I know that we sometimes see things in different lights when we're depressed, but in a way it has been quite useful this time as I've been able to identify a few areas of my life that could do with a bit of weeding...

First off, I must stop accepting consolation prizes as readily as I've been doing. It isn't too much to expect to get a first-bite of the cherry occasionally, I'm sure of that. So I think I need to speak up when time after time, all I get offered is some of the juice!

All too often it seems, organisations value their own above all others. The Salvation Army is terrible for it: people with existing connections - especially, dare I say, those who happen to be related to officers - seem to have much greater ease of access to employment and other opportunities than those of us who are relatively new to it and not otherwise connected. Admittedly we get a much more sympathetic hearing than we might have done a few years ago, but I still think we're treated with a lot more suspicion than we deserve; and subjected to a lot more red tape, than those who are lifelong members with family connections.

I also had a minor run-in with the Scottish Recovery Network the other day over what seems like largely the same issue. I did stage 1 of a particular training course a couple of years back while I was living in Hampshire, and was encouraged by them to apply for a place on their stage 2 course; but failed to get a place. On the surface they've been really good about it - telephoning to inform me rather than just emailing - and adding that they hope I'll still support their cause, and suggesting that I look out for some co-facilitating experience over the next few months...

Now, I've no doubt that experience would be very useful and certainly, if I am to support the cause further as they say, it would help me do so - but who exactly is all that about? It seems to me they're very happy to use whatever I have to offer them, yet still reserve the right to exclude me from any meaningful developments - and to be perfectly honest, I'm getting rather bored with that particular game of soldiers...!

And I've also worked out that, despite all that I told my mother as regards the Slimming World eating plan I'm currently following; I neither need nor even want lots of extra food to get me through my depression. I just want to feel normal again.