Two very special people

I had visitors yesterday - my dear friends John and Mary Coard, from Gosport.

Like myself, Mary is a native Scot, and loves being here. Unlike me, she's never had many opportunities to explore and get to know many places in Scotland...

She describes a childhood of almost unimaginable poverty, in Cowdenbeath, Fife, in the 1940s. Hers was one of the poorest families in town: they never had money to do anything or go anywhere, and highlight of their week was to go and get a plateful of hot potatoes and peas from the nearby Salvation Army hall every Saturday morning.

Perhaps because of this, Mary values her family higher than anything else. John, and Englishman, was in the Navy and stationed at nearby Rosyth when they met - which explains how they came to settle in Gosport; and they remain there to be close to their only daughter and her husband, taking the view that, "if God sees fit to give us a beautiful child, then it's our responsibility to look after her and put her above all other considerations." If it wasn't for this particularly strong devotion, they'd move back to Scotland tomorrow...

They've been here three times in the last three months - but the first two were flying visits for family events - this is their first holiday here for more than a year. But there's still precious little time for exploring - amidst the endless round of visiting family members and laying flowers on the graves of those now departed. So it really was quite something that they managed to take some time out alone to come and visit me in Edinburgh!

Fortunately, Edinburgh looked its' best for them, as it was a mild, clear and sunny day. But where do you start with a couple who've never even set eyes upon the Royal Mile, or any of its' attractions? So we went firstly for a pot of tea at one of my favourite cafes - the one inside the Scottish National Portrait Gallery in Queen Street, conveniently just around the corner from the bus station, where I went to meet them. Honestly! Before we'd even got throught the door, the two of them were gasping at the wall tableaux in the entrance hall, depicting all the famous Scottish characters over the ages, as if they were inside some never before discovered Egyptian tomb!! They are a joyful lesson to be with, as I've breezed past these paintings many times without even affording them a second glance...!

And the tea - that was the next thing. You would never believe that a perfectly ordinary pot of tea could possibly offer so much joy. Now, admittedly, one of the reasons I like that cafe is because you do get real - that is to say loose tea, that's not bound up in cheap soggy bags; and to me, that kind of thing adds to the pleasure of taking tea in a cafe - as do the accompanying tea strainers and of course real milk - none of those horrid little carton affairs - and things like big picture windows that allow natural light to flood through, and an aspidistra or three. But oh, it was just so lovely - she was thinking of going back to using real tea at home anyway - and this just settled it, she was definitely going to do it now - as everytime they had tea it would remind them of this place... And as for the scones and cakes - well, had it not been for my diet, I expect we'd still have been in there scoffing at closing time!

My next suggestion was to go on one of the open top city tours - we could always sit downstairs if its too cold - though some of the buses are covered at the front upstairs, I added in a helpful tone. Well - I don't get the impression it would have mattered if we'd had to stand in open cattle trucks, such was their eagerness to get there - no sooner had we seen such a vehicle in service as we approached Princes Street from St Andrew Square, John was worrying that the bus stop adjacent to it (which in any case it would not serve) was closed due to road works... As it happened we got the last three seats on the top deck of a guided tour - Mary insisting I sat with John while she sat some distance behind.

Their silence said it all - the two of them were just completely overwhelmed. Now, don't get me wrong, Edinburgh's tourist circuit is fascinating indeed, and there is something to look at in every direction - but, talk about children in sweetie shops!

Although we had all-day tickets, they'd not arrived until 11am, they'd arranged to meet Mary's sister back at the Park & Ride in Fife at 4pm, and we'd still not had lunch - so we just did one complete circuit without using the jump on-jump off facility. Practically in tears, all Mary could manage was, "Well, I'm definitely doing this again next time we're here - and we'll make sure we're here early, so we have all day and can get off at some of those places (that's the Anglicised version, by the way - as those of you who know here will realise, she has quite a broad Scots tongue!)

The tour guide's final comments had been about Jenners department store - so it was off to their restaurant now, for lunch. Again, this took some time to achieve because they just wanted to stop and marvel at every detail in the ceiling plasterwork, the door handles and big carved lions on the stair bannisters - and once they'd noticed the traditional galleried hall - well that was it! For the first time, I broke my new eating plan and had roast pork on a "green day," as there wasn't a huge choice - though I did think afterwards I could have asked for some of the roast vegetables that were sat next to the joint that I'd assumed must just be for display purposes when I'd not been offered any of them. And we'd a lovely scone too, for afters! This probably isn't the best place in town to eat, but it is reasonably quick if time's at a premium - and there are lovely views out over the Scott Mounment, and towards Arthur's Seat beyond.

Every department we walked through produced the same sort of 'wow!' reactions. Making one or two small purchases in the Scottish gifts department, she quite honestly declared she could spend all week in there - not to mention a small fortune too. And as for the lighting department - I think they seriously thought they'd just died and gone to heaven, at that point...

We ended our time together with a stroll along Princes Street - but not before John noticed the live lingerie fashion show in the corner window - complete with a large crowd of men taking photographs! Almost in a state of clinical shock, Mary stood between John and the window and declared, "I would be absolutely mortified - how can they possibly stand there wearing next to no clothes with all these lads watching, cheering and taking photographs? Where's their pride...?"


Last time I parted with John and Mary, she and I both cried. It was at Southampton Airport, where they'd dropped me early in the morning of Saturday 10th March last year - the day I moved back to Scotland. Yesterday, we had quite a struggle to avoid a repeat performance...

Fighting back the tears, Mary swallowed hard and said, "I know we're not supposed to envy - but I'll admit, I do envy you for where you live and for the life you have. John's life won't be worth living for the next few weeks - until I settle down again."


I'm not sure what it is about those two, or me, that makes us so close. It's funny how, in life, you do encounter people from time to time that you just can't see enough of. I think for me, they're all that I'd have liked my parents to be - had there been any choice in the matter. Don't get me wrong - my parents have loved and related to me in their own ways, indeed, my mother still does - and I don't wish to draw any comparisons; but it is so lovely and so refreshing to spend some good quality time with people of my parents' generation who actually share my interests and in particular, share my eye for small detail, express the pleasure they derive from them and even converse about it all.

I'm afraid I never really had such common interests with my parents, and while I must say my mother does try hard to not have me trudge round Marks & Spencer's and listen to her moaning about what they haven't got every time she visits - we invariably end up spending at least part of our time together doing just that; and while I try to think of it as a service to her, I'm afraid it is a chore, and I could hardly describe it as the kind of pleasure that John & Mary's company is...

I guess it's a question of attitude to life really - and as I'm certain my mother would point out, there's no fun in anything when you're on your own. She reckons its different for people like me of course - because I've always been on my own. I'm not so sure about that - though as I can at least crawl out of my lonely shell and experience real pleasure in the company of others, maybe she's right.

Methinks a 'thank-you for visiting me card' is in order for John & Mary. That'll really get the waterworks flowing right enough - but crying's cathartic too. I really wanted to sit down and howl after they'd gone yesterday - and I might yet do so...